Fashion model, TV personality and mother of two Pala Negara's unconditional love for her children has had a ripple effect on her entire universe.
Photographed in her Northern Rivers home with her daughter Tigerlilly and son Taj, she gives an insight into her experiences and approach to motherhood as she navigates her way through motherhood as a single parent.
Pala and her son Taj, photographed by Trevor King.
Since motherhood, my heart has expanded to a deeper ability of understanding, forgiveness and compassion for myself and for others.
Becoming a mother stepped me into strength and resilience I would never believe I was capable of. I believe we all have the power to create the life of our dreams and turn all of our goals into reality, no matter how far out of reach they may seem. My drive and determination in my career comes from the responsibility to support my children and give them a life where they don’t have to see their Mother struggle financially and emotionally. I grew up watching my Mother struggle as a single Mother who had the sole responsibility to provide for my sister and I financially and it was heartbreaking. Everything I do is for my children, and the strong desire for them to have a grounded life that is stable and secure is the driving force for every decision I make in my career.
I am moved when my daughter and son speak to me from their heart. Sometimes my daughter will say to me “Mummy how is your heart today?” Or my 3 year old son will say “Mum take a breath, it’s okay Mum.” My solo journey in conscious parenting has given me the ability to speak to my children openly, to help them understand that we are all here in this life having a human experience with no judgement or shame, to empower them in understanding that yes although I am their Mother, I am not here to take their power away by instilling old fashioned belief systems, but more so their guide here to walk beside them learning, teaching and evolving together. My children are my greatest teachers, as much as I am theirs.
I stand for natural beauty and way of living and empowering others to understand you have the power and ability to create a life that lights you up. You have the power to reinvent yourself at any age or stage of life, you just have to believe you can.
Something my mother taught me was to always let your light shine, to not let anyone turn the light inside of you out. This has stayed with me my whole life and has helped me to discern people and situations that do not have my best interests, to notice moments where I have had to ‘dull’ myself down to fit in, and to say no to anything or anyone that does not feel right or welcome you in your light and your most authentic self.
It was never the plan to become a single Mother. To have the dream of the family I had always desired being crushed into a million pieces in front of me was the hardest thing to accept. Becoming a single Mother, I’ve faced homelessness twice with my children. Deciding to move myself and my children away from an unsafe environment, led us to becoming homeless, and that, in this day and age, is incomprehensible to me. To know that this is the reality for many facing a similar situation, is just unacceptable, but the harsh reality. Spending most of the past years raising my children alone - Being alone in the struggle, the juggle, the exhaustion. Nurturing two babies, but not having anyone to nurture me, and the inability to nurture myself. Raising children born so close together while facing the darkest time of my life, living in high stress from pregnancy until only a year ago, the past year I have had to relearn what it’s like to feel safe again.
The role of sisterhood in my life has kept me alive. I’ve learnt that people come into your life that may not be family but feel like family, and become your family.
I grew up having Women in my life that were not so kind to me, were competitive, did not celebrate each other. To now have Women in my life that have given me a sense of Community, who genuinely love each other in our highest selves, who thrive at us all thriving together and who only want to uplift and elevate each other, has been so healing for my heart.
I dream of a world, where my daughter and son live in harmony with all beings and the earth, where there is Community and connection, where they feel safe to express and be their authentic selves. To feel and know they are loved. To understand that they are sovereign beings who have the power to create a life that lights them up.
Pala wears the Poppy Pleated Slip in Lilac and the Ayu Ruched Dress.